Dear Culley,
You, my precious Culley, have acheived something great. You’ve become so detestable, so downright despicable, that you’ve collapsed under the weight of your own loathability and become a saint. But that shouldn’t suggest that I don’t feel the same way as I always have about you: I hate you; really, truly hate you. I’m still the same old Buster that you know and hate to love.
See, Culley, I love you too, sweetheart! I love you so goddamn much that it takes me all my self control not to grind your beautiful face into the concrete. The thing is, darling, I abhor you so very much, I believe I fell in love with you. So, baby, just fucking take me. I wouldn’t mind waking up to your gorgeous Chelsea Smile (a gift from me to you, carved with love).
Generically Yours,
Your Buster.
P.S. If you ever fucking touch Addie again, I will love you so damn hard, there will be no pieces left for me to kiss, you scum.